People around me having some spare time while I’m busy and vice-versa. Loads of people around me dressed nice, casual, hugging, kissing, holding eachother. Relationships are booming, some cease to exist, but only for a few weeks, months at most. All this is, again, driving me crazy. Torturing myself, not wanting to be a load of shiat for my friends because I need to be there for them and just deny my own feelings. Because if, no, when I stop running to look at myself to look at the personal devastation I’ve caused, things will all fall apart. The attention I need is, maybe on purpose, withheld or even withdrawn. How can it be that some, or maybe a lot, of people just can’t feel someone else needs them really NEEDS them. And they just go hmmhmm yeah and go back to their own business or ignore/semi-ignore you while online for example… So for the moment I’ll stop posting new blogs, yes even the tech and politics related posts will not appear here for a certain period of time. Most likely I’ll suspend all this for another two or three months. I could have made the decision to delete this blog, but I won’t. Don’t know why, but I just won’t.
Goodbye for now
